(Readers from Kyiv are asking me to write up the story of the assassination attempt on Franz Ferdinand, and who am I to refuse readers from Kyiv.
Especially since the story itself could be played to funny music — if the consequences hadn't been so monstrous)
So, the organization "Young Bosnia" found out that on June 28, Archduke Franz Ferdinand, heir to the Austro-Hungarian throne, was coming to Sarajevo.
The Young Bosnians were a pro-Serbian organization; i.e., they believed that Bosnia should become part of Serbia.
In short, they started preparing an assassination attempt. The most decent weapon for such a deed at the time was considered to be bombs: the Young Bosnians churned out some bombs and placed as many as several bombers along the Archduke's route just to be sure.
And then comes the funny music. So, the Archduke is just riding along with his wife, Princess Sophie, in a car. The first terrorist couldn't throw the bomb because he was pinned in the crowd. The second couldn't because a GENDARME WAS LOOKING at him. The third saw the Archduke's wife in the car and took pity on her.
The fourth threw the bomb, but missed 🤡 — the explosion only hit the escort car, and that's it.
Next, the fourth bomber, as instructions dictated, took potassium cyanide and jumped into the river — to make absolutely sure he wouldn't be caught alive.
But the potassium cyanide didn't work (turned out to be defective), and the poor guy failed to drown in the river: it had become shallow due to the heat. Anyway, pretty soon they fished him out and arrested him.
The Archduke drove on, despite all the protests from his security. He met with the city authorities, listened to his fill of welcoming speeches (that wasn't without its cringe either: the speech began with "all the residents of the city are happy to welcome you...", and Franz Ferdinand couldn't hold back a biting remark about the bomb.)
After the official events, the Archduke gets back into the car, and the motorcade heads to the hospital to visit those hit by the bomb explosion.
Here we need storyline number 2.
After the failed assassination attempt, the Young Bosnians scattered in all directions (second-rate Hollywood movies teach us to "lay low" in such cases).
But one — that very Gavrilo Princip — didn't go far, but simply headed to a local coffee shop to drink, as is customary in Sarajevo, bosanska kava.
So, storyline number 1: the Archduke's motorcade is driving.
Storyline number 2: Gavrilo is sadly drinking coffee.
At some point, the Archduke's driver decides to either turn or make a U-turn — sources differ here — what matters is that the car stalls. And what matters even more is that it stalls right by the exact same cafe where Gavrilo Princip is sitting.
He doesn't have a bomb with him anymore, but he does have a pistol. He might not have hit a moving car, but the car is standing still; — Gavrilo Princip walks out of the cafe, walks right up to the car and shoots almost at point-blank range, killing both the Archduke himself and his wife.
(If you look at the history of this ill-fated day in detail, you really could believe in a cruel fate)